So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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