i permit you to call me
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize