i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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