my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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