did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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