if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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