Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
