I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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