I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
