Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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