did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
