I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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