I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
