We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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