Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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