Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
