so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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