that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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