And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it glows. i had to have it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
