remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
