Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
