five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
