Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
