yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
