If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
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I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You can't just leave with hair like that
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
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I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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