I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
