I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
