East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
