There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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