there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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