Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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