We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
