oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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