I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
