your parents love me but you hate me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
