You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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