there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
