I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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