I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
