um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
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I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My ass is underappreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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