I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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