It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
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Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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