So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
