i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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