nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I party with great urgency now.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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