i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize