evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
