I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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