In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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