i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
