I swear god or herbie drove my car home
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
