honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
