We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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