i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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