ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
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Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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