Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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