I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize