I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
