I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize