Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
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I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
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One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes