My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit