Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years. http://tfl.nu/vthp
  Replies (47) Good night (719) Bad night (8034)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do. http://tfl.nu/1xvv
  Replies (16) Good night (4542) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college. http://tfl.nu/eor0
  Replies (158) Good night (1169) Bad night (7349)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail http://tfl.nu/cdhw
  Replies (9) Good night (2959) Bad night (1370)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control. http://tfl.nu/uxm4
  Replies (13) Good night (1708) Bad night (3724)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels. http://tfl.nu/pla2
  Replies (12) Good night (5873) Bad night (1330)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home! http://tfl.nu/koxv
  Replies (12) Good night (3655) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home. http://tfl.nu/nin0
  Replies (12) Good night (8722) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left. http://tfl.nu/h7ai
  Replies (3) Good night (1677) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me http://tfl.nu/t69r
  Replies (2) Good night (1900) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know? http://tfl.nu/vw9n
  Replies (12) Good night (711) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night. http://tfl.nu/dsb1
  Replies (2) Good night (816) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  God I hope the sex was good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie. (1-814): God I hope the sex was good. http://tfl.nu/1yhc
  Replies (6) Good night (485) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence" http://tfl.nu/k55r
  Replies (0) Good night (516) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment. http://tfl.nu/qpzk
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (263)

Randomize