Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.

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  (586 ): He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow. http://tfl.nu/hatb
  Replies (6) Good night (805) Bad night (1879)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.

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  (973): Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer. http://tfl.nu/dm7j
  Replies (21) Good night (671) Bad night (3034)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.

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  (617): There's a vagina buried somewhere in there. http://tfl.nu/t83u
  Replies (7) Good night (671) Bad night (4450)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  why was he too nerdy?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  he was a tetris block for halloween

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  (314): why was he too nerdy? (919): he was a tetris block for halloween http://tfl.nu/svcq
  Replies (56) Good night (5642) Bad night (1268)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.

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  (417): My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong. http://tfl.nu/opsu
  Replies (14) Good night (1199) Bad night (7963)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.

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  (502): After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza. http://tfl.nu/j0sn
  Replies (5) Good night (3972) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.

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  (937): I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad. http://tfl.nu/m8mw
  Replies (13) Good night (5432) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.

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  (920): just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch. http://tfl.nu/t841
  Replies (5) Good night (5735) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.

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  (618): Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/svji
  Replies (14) Good night (2155) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.

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  (229): He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam. http://tfl.nu/61az
  Replies (1) Good night (1039) Bad night (1685)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now

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  (314): she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now http://tfl.nu/v305
  Replies (5) Good night (2122) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area

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  (508): Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area http://tfl.nu/7yxw
  Replies (3) Good night (1195) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life

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  (978): So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life http://tfl.nu/9wbt
  Replies (1) Good night (481) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ

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  (515): My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ http://tfl.nu/eoqa
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (206)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!

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  (608): He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over! http://tfl.nu/3er6
  Replies (0) Good night (209) Bad night (38)

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