Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.

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  (740): she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/zgkj
  Replies (33) Good night (8976) Bad night (863) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.

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  (403): He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant. http://tfl.nu/2z77
  Replies (10) Good night (3533) Bad night (814) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.

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  (313): I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents. http://tfl.nu/eaix
  Replies (6) Good night (2942) Bad night (750)
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  (619): View more from California

  Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently

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  (619): Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently http://tfl.nu/19aa
  Replies (6) Good night (1586) Bad night (582)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.

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  (248): She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use. http://tfl.nu/2c8i
  Replies (14) Good night (949) Bad night (856) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart

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  (630): Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart http://tfl.nu/qpzs
  Replies (8) Good night (441) Bad night (1288) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...

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  (540): So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day... http://tfl.nu/14rg
  Replies (5) Good night (1078) Bad night (397)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa

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  (772): Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa http://tfl.nu/i2pg
  Replies (11) Good night (1432) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...

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  (403): So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine... http://tfl.nu/hixx
  Replies (12) Good night (3671) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.

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  (408): My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now. http://tfl.nu/tbbh
  Replies (5) Good night (1165) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door

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  (336): We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door http://tfl.nu/uhw2
  Replies (4) Good night (383) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.

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  (845): It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother. http://tfl.nu/ow2i
  Replies (8) Good night (1388) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina

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  (267): All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina http://tfl.nu/o3rx
  Replies (11) Good night (1338) Bad night (296) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic

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  (931): He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob (1-931): Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic http://tfl.nu/rfmh
  Replies (4) Good night (1312) Bad night (213)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"

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  (870): I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough" http://tfl.nu/ficv
  Replies (2) Good night (1022) Bad night (129)

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