Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books

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  (607): your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books http://tfl.nu/j6cy
  Replies (6) Good night (1221) Bad night (548)
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  (415): View more from California

  I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.

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  (415): I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it. http://tfl.nu/np4v
  Replies (3) Good night (555) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  How was it?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Fantastic, but that's not the point.

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  (847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me. (1-847): How was it? (847): Fantastic, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/muuk
  Replies (205) Good night (87425) Bad night (7406)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's

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  (443): i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's http://tfl.nu/fnpd
  Replies (38) Good night (3316) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.

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  (803): you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night. http://tfl.nu/8q1c
  Replies (11) Good night (4756) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.

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  (509): I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me. http://tfl.nu/tzej
  Replies (9) Good night (5170) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.

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  (419): I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars. http://tfl.nu/ussa
  Replies (37) Good night (2140) Bad night (7694)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.

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  (619): It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car. http://tfl.nu/xdru
  Replies (3) Good night (2853) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.

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  (925): Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis. http://tfl.nu/pfu8
  Replies (13) Good night (1278) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.

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  (207): I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered. http://tfl.nu/1qcp
  Replies (3) Good night (533) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.

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  (312): Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag. http://tfl.nu/6eu4
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow

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  (787): Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow http://tfl.nu/puo2
  Replies (1) Good night (383) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.

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  (416): The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won. http://tfl.nu/zzwg
  Replies (4) Good night (615) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party

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  (310): he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party http://tfl.nu/v00e
  Replies (1) Good night (296) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?

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  (303): He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery? http://tfl.nu/y325
  Replies (10) Good night (294) Bad night (654)

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