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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.

  (407): View more from Florida

  given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was

  (352): View more from Florida

  i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Intervention is following me on twitter.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  wow.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.

  (786): View more from Florida

  that would mean it's on tape

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  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.

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• (714): View more from California

  The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.

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  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!

  (647): View more from Ontario

  That is always a wonderful personality trait!

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• (585): View more from New York

  She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.

  (585): View more from New York

  Probably not gonna date her.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.

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