Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way