you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
