Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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