We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
