i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
